Today is a Big Day

Today is the day that I show my mom my tattoos. I have three and she’s seen the one on my neck (I got her name inked on the back of my neck.) One time when I was home, my neighbor offered to give me a facial because she had just graduated from beauty school. So, there I was, lying on my back, and all of a sudden she turns my head and right away I think, “Oh fuck, Mom is in the room! Can she see the tattoo? Can my neighbor feel the tattoo on my neck? Would she tell my mom?”

That night, we went back to our place and I showed it to her. Surprisingly she didn’t freak out. She jokingly acted like as if she was mad, but I could tell she was relieved it wasn’t something stupid and she was probably touched that I had chosen her name.

So one down and two more to go. For those of you who don’t know, I have a sheriff badge on my right foot and a lotus on my upper left arm. The sheriff badge is a symbol of my friendship with Lion, who I have known since the second grade. We weren’t best friends for all those years, but to still have her as a part of my life today is a big deal, especially since I don’t keep in touch with many people from high school. Our favorite movie is Toy Story. Her favorite character is Woody and mine is Buzz. And yes, you’ve guessed it, she has Buzz’s emblem above her right ankle.

The lotus represents family. Every time I leave home to return to LA, my mom always reminds me to pray to the Goddess of Mercy (Quan Am) to look after me. One day I jokingly said, “Hey Mom, what if I were to get Quan Am tattooed on my body?” “NO! Don’t do that! That’s disrespectful. You can’t just go putting her image anywhere you want!” I respected my mom’s wishes and got a tattoo of a lotus, willow branches, and a vase; symbols to represent Quan Am. It’s a picture of an inverted vase pouring water over a lotus sitting on a lily pad. It’s oozing with symbolism. My nickname on my mom’s side of the family is Lily (pronounced in Vietnamese, lee-lee. It comes in handy when ordering drinks at Jamba Juice or a café, much easier to spell and pronounce than Phuong.) The vase is decorated with a window and chair to represent Vespers (my favorite dance performed by the one and only Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre.) Vespers was choreographed by Ulysses Dove for his grandma and so I used it to represent my grandma and my love for dance. Out of the vase, we have the Water of Life pouring over the lotus and lily pad (my grandma named me by the way.) It took me nearly a whole year to come up with this tattoo.

I put a lot of thought into each work so I hope that when my mom sees it, she won’t get mad. All three can be easily concealed. I mean I’ve hid them from her for this long.

So, I’m on my way down to San Jose from San Francisco right now, writing as the BART is whizzing past West Oakland. My mom is suppose to meet up with me in Milpitas. I have a t-shirt on and the sleeves are just short enough for one to catch a glimpse of the water and part of the lily pad. When I get home, I’ll take off my shoes (duh, I’m Asian.) It’s hot so I’ll take off my socks too. My jeans fall over my feet, just enough to show part of the star. And from there it’s up to her to ask me about what’s on my foot or arm or she can start screaming at me. Either way it’s better than having her and the whole family finding out on the day of my graduation. There’s no way I’ll be able to hide them from her at graduation. If I wear cute little shoes, she’ll see the sheriff badge on my foot. It’ll be hot as hell in June so there’s no way will I be able to stand the heat in a shirt with sleeves. I figured if she does get mad, I still have that late-Mother’s Day dinner planned to make her happy. I never cooked much when I lived with her. So, for her to know that I can cook, it would make her feel that she hasn’t failed at raising a lady.