More Dog Convos

So Ell and I had another conversation about dogs. *Note: I’m writing this while I’m in my psychology class. Spontaneously, I thought it would be fun to go to class tipsy today.* Last night… I couldn’t even get an answer… (Cue Bex and Devietti clapping to Last Night by P. Diddy and Keyshia Cole) I came downstairs complaining about psychology. After Tuesday’s lecture, I realized that I do not think like psych major. Here’s what happened in class that day:

Prof put up a slide of statistics of how many people are diagnosed of a mental disorder in a number from different countries. The United States, of course, had the highest percentage of people diagnosed. The prof asked, why? The kids rose their hands, suggesting ideas like maybe it has something to do with each country’s criteria for diagnosing such disorders, or maybe it has something to do with the pool of people who were used for this statistic, etc. I sat there thinking, “wait, what about the science/medicine/health issues behind this?!?” I had a bunch of ideas that involved our lifestyle, eating habits, etc.

Anyways, that began our discussion about psychology, neuroscience, economics, and mathematics, which led to me say, “I think psychology comes in handy when raising kids.” This is where the convo takes a twist and Ell says she would watch Dog Whisperer to learn how to deal with problematic children. If you have never seen an episode, basically this guy named Cesar Milan gets called in to help rehab troublesome dogs AND to train their owners. He teaches the owners how to take control of the pet-owner relationship (by the way, have you read Wild ARS’s hilarious post on the PediPaw? Way to dominate!) Seriously, you could take his lessons and apply it to children. Okay, his training lessons wouldn’t help a parent deal with a hormonal emotional teenager, but for babies and young toddlers, it just might work.

Can you imagine how Ell’s kids would turn out? They would go to school and share with their classmates: Mommy treats me like a dog. She tells me to “SSHHHH!” and rubs my belly! However, they would be well trained and groomed. That led us to think of how the children of our friends would turn out:

Bex: She would keep her children on a leash. And feed them beef jerky sticks and Arizona Iced Tea.

T: Her kids would run around, have dirt all over their faces, saliva and snot smeared everywhere. And of course, the boys would be dressed in plaid shirts.

Chelma: Her kids would turn out to be spoiled brats. Probably fat spoiled brats because she’d cook for them day and night (the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night…Kid Cudi- sorry just had to do that) and drive them anywhere they needed to go (Shut up and drive, drive… Rihanna- yes, I am really bored in class right now.)

My kids… I have no clue how they’d turn out. They could inherit my nerdy side. They could also inherit my laziness and tendency to nap in the evening and continue to sleep into the next morning. They could turn out graceful and athletic. They could be addicted to getting piercings and tattoos. As long as they turn out healthy (physically and mentally), I’ll be happy.