Cliquey

Thursday was the building's holiday party. I received a bunch of emails about it, but didn't bother to open any of them. I only read e-mails that I know involve specifically me or my lab. I ignore all those general mass e-mails and depend on my colleagues to fill me in on anything important. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked out of the mouse room and saw this:

Tropical table cloths. Colorful birds hanging everywhere. When the festivities began (which included a steel drum player and an open bar), the whole building came alive. People who were usually stuck to their desks or have pipets fused to their palms were out and about: eating, drinking, mingling, smiling, laughing. Lab members hung out with each other. Those with a significant other who worked on another floor mingled with both parties. Moms and dads brought their kids and parents along. It was very warming; a pleasant glow in the midst of San Francisco's grey atmosphere.

While eating and chatting with my colleagues, I looked around, smiled at the children, noticed people stealing the table ornaments for their own decor... And saw three ladies on my floor eating together at a table. Funny, I didn't know those girls knew each other. The young one is always to herself. I always have to initiate morning greetings with her in the break room. Then I remembered another group of young ladies were sitting on the fifth floor earlier today. And there's always that other crew of ladies that spend lunch on the fourth floor. Finally I realized something: all the young ladies in our building have their own group. Every single one of them... except me.

I don't feel left out or anything. I just thought it was an interesting note. I always feel awkward saying hi to these ladies. I especially feel awkward while I'm walking down the stairs and passing through their lunch.

Now, I'm not crying and secretly hoping to join one of these groups just to say I have friends. I have work friends. They just all happen to be guys, which is really nice because they all look after me like older brothers. One even freaked out and thought I was pregnant when I had that pinched nerve in my back. Some times I eat lunch by myself. Some times I'm up on the fifth floor playing cards during lunch time. Some times I end up having a lengthy conversation with an older colleague, getting advice for MCATs, sharing family stories, talking about their vacations, etc. I'd like to think I'm a friendly person. Some times I can be a little bit more social, but I'm not a total hermit. So how did I all of a sudden get excluded from my fellow 20-something-XX chromosome associates?

Update:
On Friday I learned two of those three ladies are actually in the same lab AND I made a new friend: a 20-something-XX chromosome associate from the urology department.