Is being a big sis like being a mom?

My brother and I have an agreement. No friends over until (1) he finds our family's missing digital camera (which was either lost because my mom's memory sucks or stolen by one of his friends) or (2) he gets a job (because he's 21 and has no sense of responsibility.) I don't think it's that much of a deal. He has three ways to get out of it: (1) He can ask his friends about the camera and retrieve it -- if it was stolen (2) Help unpack at the new house and find the missing camera or (3) Go find a part time job.

He failed to do anything and I caught him having friends over our house. Now, what am I suppose to do with him? He broke the rules of our agreement. How in the world am I suppose to get this kid to learn anything?

I figured he is an adult now. And, adults pay rent. So, I told him every day that he has friends over, it will cost him $50. His friends obviously felt the tension and decided they wanted to go home. So, my brother drove them home. In my mom's car. Again, lack of responsibility. I'm sure he doesn't pay for gas and here he is chauffeuring his friends around without a slight hesitation that he is abusing what has been given to him.

Although I know what I'm doing is needed and fair, I have this sick feeling in my gut. No, not from the baby, but from feeling bad about my brother. I know he doesn't have $50 to pay me. I know he's leaving next month to join the Army. But dammit he needs to learn he can't just run away from responsibilities. I know one of the reasons he's going to the Army is because he doesn't want to finish his AA. (No diss what so ever for anyone wanting to join the force or is serving our country. It is a very admirable thing to do, but I know my brother's decision to join was half baked and a cop out.)

Given that money is always tight with our family, I decided to alter the punishment. He's still out driving his friends so I have yet to tell him what I plan on offering him. He has to do chores until he leaves for the Army. That doesn't sound much of a punishment because really, at this age you should be able to do chores without being told to. From now on, he will be responsible for doing ALL of the dishes. This is a big thing because I'm starting to cook now and my little sister is on summer vacation and she loves to bake. If I have to tell him to do the dishes, I will add on extra chores; he should know to do them automatically. If he doesn't do them, that's when I start taking his things. First thing I plan on taking is his computer mouse. He LOVES computer games. And you can bet without his mouse, he won't be playing any of those fancy online shooter/war games.

Now I feel better about the situation, but I did change my original plan of punishment. I am soft. How am I going to handle being a mom? I look forward to all the fun things moms do with their kids, but the ugly stuff? Not so sure how I'll handle it. I guess that's why I have SB there. But I have to be strong for my kid. Otherwise s/he will turn out to be a pushover. And I definitely don't want my kid bullied around.

So, baby, please don't be too mad when I do something that seems unfair to you. Just know I'm doing it for a good reason. Love you lots and can't wait to bring you into this world.

Update: The bro tried to be smart and tried to reason with me that he should just pay mom the money... yeah right like mom would take money from him. So I never gave him the chores option and he paid me the rent.