So close...

I was thisclose to finding an apartment with SB in San Francisco. However, the stars were not aligned and everything fell apart within about 48 hours of us just talking about moving in together.

SB's family owns a couple of homes throughout the Bay Area and to cut things short, he was suppose to move out of one house because they've decided to sell it. He had plans to find his own apartment and then eventually buy his own house. I have been wanting to move up to the city, but the ordeal of finding a place and roommates to live with is a headache that I can't deal with right now. When I heard how soon he would be moving out of his current house, I decided to tell him that I was thinking about moving up to the city after the MCAT retake. That led to the idea of us living together and before you knew it, we were looking up places online and I was making appointments to see places.

Then I get a phone call. Again, to cut things short, they might not have to sell the house and just like that, everything went down the drain.

Maybe I shouldn't have used that expression because it makes it sound as though this is a bad thing. It isn't entirely bad news. It's good news because now the family has less to handle and I no longer have to deal with the stress of moving. I'm still stuck here in San Jose, but I can bear it out. I still have to tell all the friends whom I informed about the move that I won't be moving up to the city anymore.

Being the optimist that I am (sometimes I wonder if all this optimism just means I'm fucking delusional) I noticed one extremely good thing that came from this situation: communication between SB and me. When the idea of us moving in together first came up, I was scared to ask about it and SB felt like we were moving too fast. However, given how things could have easily worked out, we thought this would be a good decision. As I was looking for places, I started wondering about the commute within the city, how much of my paycheck would go to the apartment, how much will I be able to save up every month (applications for medical school are already pricey. I can't imagine how much I would have to spend on top of that if I get any interview offers and still need to pay back my student loans,) etc. SB, however, surprisingly grew excited about the idea. He thought about how nice it would be to live in the city, to find an apartment with a gym/basketball court, all the parties he could throw, how my LA friends would have a place to stay if they came up to visit us (a friend will be visiting in May and he thought specifically of her,) etc. He told me all of this over the phone when he had to break it to me that we might not be moving in together. Things still need to be cleared up, but there was talk in his family about the house being okay and they won't have to sell it. We had a really good talk on the phone.

Before this, anytime we would have a conversation about something serious, I would be drunk. It was the only way I could get the balls to bring up the subject. Like when we officially became boyfriend/girlfriend. In the beginning, he moved a lot faster than I expected. He wanted the official title of being a couple before I could figure out if I really liked him or the free dinners and rides home from work. When I finally realized that I was crazy about the guy, I knew I had to be the one to bring the subject back up and I was drunk the night I did it... and I said a bunch of embarrassing things. Lets just say the ride home from the restaurant was a memorable one and he still quotes me every now and then just to tease me.

So that's that. I'm still stuck here in San Jose aka High School Drama-ville.